I love to travel… I feel recharged everytime I go away, even if it is up the coast for a long weekend. I have the itch, but the lack of funds and tafe stops me… I just have to be patient, and hope some time soon after graduation I can travel somewhere again. You only live once, get out there and see it all!!!
We all should be working toward something that will better our lives in every way! It’s been almost a month since I started the Dual Diploma, and I’m really struggling with it all. My motivation has gone out the window.
It probably doesn’t help that I’m not well. I have to think about the end goal, what I am going to get out of it. And it’s all falling into place. I just have to get my head out of the fog it’s currently in.
I’ve had a bit of a hard time in my head lately. I think that the cause of the issue is that I am starting college in the next couple of weeks, and orientation for college is coming up next week (EEEK). So as much as I am excited to be going ahead with one of the life changing decisions that I made last year, the anxiety is back in full force. I know that when I get to the day and I am there in the thick of it I will be fine, I have to push myself through the anxiety and negative feelings (along with that annoying voice in my head telling me not to do it because I will fail) that come along with it. I learnt that very thing in therapy, you have to push through it and prove yourself wrong.
So, to the voice in my head, the negative feelings/thoughts and to the anxiety I have, I am going to prove you wrong! This also goes out to the people who thought I would fail, will fail, or am failing…
And to all of you who are going through a similar situation, where people try to make you fail for whatever reason, or if it’s the negative voices in your head telling you you’re a failure, PROVE THEM WRONG! Don’t let something hold you back, all you can do is try!
Hope you all are having a fab weekend!
Something that has been on my mind is the friendships I have had in my past, particularly with people I am no longer friends with. Sometimes I question why the friendship ended in the first place, is there any chance of reconciling in the future and will there be any gain to it? I lost some close friends, and I gained them back, and it’s been fantastic! Of course there are some where it had been overly toxic and I had to cut the ties for that very reason, toxicity… The fake facade, the back stabbing nature, and the negative influence they tried to push on to me…. I didn’t want that, I never wanted that. So I cut the ties, why on earth would you ever want that in your life?
Then after some years, they try to contact you, they want to be your friend… It’s like they realise they’ve done wrong, so you give them a chance, and then it’s the same thing! So by this point you really need to end it, so you do… It’s a one too many chances situation. Does it make you feel bad to do it? It sure as hell made me feel bad, but in the long run, I formed friendships that will last a lifetime. I have wonderful people in my little life that make me laugh, make me think, and most of all, make me feel loved and valued. The toxicity doesn’t exist in the friendships I have. Sure, the toxic people I knew sometimes try to weed their way back, but I know where I want to be, and those people do not have a place there. They never will, not again.
If you are one of the unlucky ones who has a friend who is toxic, get rid of them. You are outgrowing them and they have no place in your future.
For me, as there has been in other years, many ups and downs. Although 2016 would have to be the biggest emotional roller coaster of a year I have experienced in my whole life. I learned a lot this year. I learned through therapy how I can manage my mental illness without the use of medication, I learned what family really meant when trying times were upon us, I learned that life was really too short to be stuck in a never ending negative cycle and in order to change I had to take a leap of faith with hope I’ll safely land on my feet with my wonderful amazing husband by my side, I even learned that you can never change a person – you can only change yourself.
I have given myself a new purpose for 2017, and I am excited to see what’s ahead. I have my husband, we will celebrate 10 years together and our first wedding anniversary, I have the family that mean everything to me, and I have my friends. So long as that doesn’t change, everything else will be a breeze! I don’t have any resolutions for the new year, not this time anyway, so it will be a just wing it kind of year and see what good things come of it!
Happy New Year everyone!!! May 2017 be a safe, fun and adventurous year!!!
There are no words to express how deeply saddened one can be when you hear very heartbreaking news. The death of someone close to you or close to a loved one is devastating to say the least. There is nothing that can bring the person back, nor is there much you can say to ease the pain. Is there really anything that can be said at a time like this? No, is really the answer. All you can do is be there when you’re needed, a shoulder to cry on, listen to them say whatever they need to say, or just to sit with them in silence.
I know the pain, I know it well. The more I think about it coming up to Christmas, the more it starts to really sink in. There’s only so much time you have before it really hits home. And I’ll be hoping to be prepared for it, although I know the chances of that will be slim. It’s all a part of the process.
Today made me think more about it. And to the people who have lost someone dear recently, or at any time, you’re never alone. You are loved. You are strong even if you break down, because it is ok to do that – MORE then ok! Don’t ever think you can’t pull through the heartache, it will always be there for sure, but you will always get through no matter what happens.