Pondering……

Oh how the mind wanders….

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It’s the second week back in Australia from the big wedding/honeymoon/adventure in the USA.

And it’s been a month since my LBJ and I got hitched! Wow, that went really quick! Isn’t it funny how as you get older, time just flies?¬†Marriage I don’t think has changed us, and really to be honest, I don’t think it will. I guess it’s because we have been together for so long already that we were “unofficially” married. Who knows, I’m no expert on the matter, and every relationship is different.

It’s crazy, and it’s crazy to think that it has now been over a month since my family and I lost someone very dear to us. I believe it, but there’s a part of me that is still in disbelief. I haven’t really grieved I guess, I do know that day will come though. I was (and still am) devastated at the loss, especially because we were not in the country at the time.

What’s even crazier than that, is when something happens like you’re talking on the phone to someone near and dear, the ONLY person you’re paying attention to at that very moment, then out of nowhere and so sudden. You snap. Like a light bulb literally exploded in your mind and you realise in that moment, where you are, where you should be, what you are meant to be doing other than talking to that one person, and you don’t want to do it anymore. It may have taken days, weeks, months or even years of the same old crap day-in day-out and a few meltdowns to realise that if you stay where you are and not change your life, you will eventually die (not necessarily in the physical way but definitely in the losing yourself and soul kind of way).

So what does one do in this situation? How would you deal with this situation? Do you keep trying even though your heart, mind and soul are screaming to stop? I can say from recent experience, that there was no more trying. I walked. I removed myself from the situation that was killing my existence, and in doing so, I began to understand myself again and it felt like the weight of negativity that I carried for so long lifted. It was the final piece in the puzzle to make me feel good again.

Cutting negativity from your life makes you better, you see clearer, you are happier and most of all, the people around you are happier. Happier because they got their loved one back! Like the image says, “A negative mind will never give you a positive life”. Remember that. Always remember that.unknown-author-negative-mind-positive-life

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